X WHY Z
SETTING — A home.
CHARACTERS — CHILD and ADULT.
AT RISE — CHILD is playing. ADULT is trying to work.
CHILD: Why is there an alphabetical order?
ADULT: Um. Hmmm. Well. I don’t know why.
CHILD: Why don’t you know why?
ADULT: Because no one knows why.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: They started doing it so long ago that no one remembers who did it first.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Why did they start or why does no one remember? You should learn to be more specific with the questions you ask.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Because it’s an essential part of being a thinking person.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Because if you don’t ask the right questions, how will you get the right answers?
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Why what?
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Why why?
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Why?
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Why?
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Why?
CHILD: Well I suppose it’s that I’m a dry sponge right now—you’re not so much taking the time to fill my head with things that make me wonder, so I have to seek them out myself. It’s a process of discovery, maybe. Noisy and annoying, perhaps, but essential.
ADULT: Oh.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: “Oh” is what I say when someone makes such a good point that I’m not sure what to say next.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Because I have to say something.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: That’s a good point. Maybe I don’t. You’re a smart kid.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT: Because your mother and I are smart people, too.
CHILD: Why?
ADULT (realizing): ...Because we asked a lot of questions.
CHILD: Oh. (beat) Can I watch Sid the Science Kid now?
ADULT: Sure.
CHILD scampers off. ADULT sits back, contented smile.
ADULT: Never should have fucking had kids.
END OF PLAY.